ECW Championship - Ladder
Christian Vs Shelton Benjamin
The dream match of the feud that never was. This pairing ought to have been highlighted in numerous PPV contests for Christian's ECW Championship in 2009 but, aside from a couple of non-title outings on TV, this was all we'd get. It's what we wanted and as expected it delivers a memorable encounter filled with ingenious spots, but you can't help but imagine what this same match would have been like had it come at the climax of a full-on feud. Shelton Benjamin deserved to be pushed hard on the C-Show and this match exemplifies why. He's a genuine salesman, willing to go all out to get the other guy over. He takes some great bumps in this and never drops the pace, even when up against the stupid new “no blood” rule trying to stop things completely. Working regularly on PPV with a veteran like Christian could have been great for him, and a title change tonight would have refreshed the dying ECW brand. Alas, Christian retains again and the title continues to stagnate. Never mind. I suppose Christian sells more T-Shirts anyway. At least they achieved their intention, and set the bar high for the rest of the night that follows. Great match.
Rating: 4 Stars
Intercontinental Championship
Drew McIntyre Vs John Morrison
I feel sorry for Drew McIntyre. The man is talented for sure, he just doesn't have any charisma. With a gimmick like “The Chosen One” it's unfortunately a necessity, which is ultimately why he'll continue to fade further and further away from the spotlight during 2010. This is yet another example of the WWE throwing a newcomer one of the mid-card championships without anyone investing in their character beforehand. As a result – DUHN! DUHN! DUHN! - nobody cares! After being really into the last match, it feels like half of the arena are away buying Christian T-Shirts or something. I'm not kidding - you can actually hear echoes in the first five minutes of this. With McIntyre on offence, this was a good chance to show some character but instead we just get rest holds. Lots of rest holds. Like, “Vintage Randy Orton” rest holds. Sure there are one or two really nice moves, Morrison is too good not to fit something exciting into a match this long, but nothing happens at the pace or with a rhythm you can invest in. The finish involves Morrison deciding he doesn't want his belt on or something, distracting the ref while McIntyre gets in the ol' thumb-in-the-eye and his patented DDT for the win. After so many classic Intercontinental Championship matches we've seen in 2009, this was such a disappointment.
Rating: 2.5 Stars
WWE Championship – Tables
Sheamus Vs John Cena
Oh, look! It's Sheamus Vs John Cena! That's so strange, I swear we were just talking about a match where a rookie was handed a major championship without proper build-up leaving fans confused and/or disinterested and the rookie in question damaged for the foreseeable future soon after. That couldn't happen twice in one night right? It did? Damn. Okay then. Well, approve of the booking or not, there's no question this is far more significant than the last match in many ways. Not only is this a world title, it's the WWE Championship. Not only is this the WWE Championship, it's John Cena's WWE Championship. This is not something that changes hands often. Also, unlike Drew McIntyre, Sheamus actually has a lot of charisma and knows how to work a crowd. More so, Texas hates Cena and openly cheer anything Sheamus does. He might not earn it all, but he sure does use the heat and as a result the contest enjoys good atmosphere throughout. It's a shame then that this is a tables match, not a bad concept for a quick mid-card attraction but for a world title it just feels cheap. Not only that, but to pad the match to the expected length it means lots of slow action and drawn out “near falls” where both men just sway in place before lots of nothing happens. I honestly thought the ending was a botch when I first saw it. Sheamus is one hell of an actor when it comes to slipping off the top. If there's a treatment floating around Hollywood for a film where a man does nothing but accidentally fall off things for two hours, they really need to give the Celtic Warrior a call. He might even win an Oscar. For now though, he'll have to make do with becoming the first Irish WWE Champion. I'm sure he's fine with that.
Rating: 3 Stars
World Heavyweight Championship – Chairs
The Undertaker Vs Batista
“The Undertaker has been in Hell in a Cell, Elimination Chamber, Inferno Matches – perhaps none more dangerous than a Chair Match” - Matt Striker
Does that quote convince you? Not even a little, huh? That's because it's obviously absurd. A chairs match. It's such a contrived gimmick to begin with, but when it doesn't even fit this feud or play into the story, why should anyone care? Batista is still feeling out his new heel character, so he's not quite at the standard he'll get to early in 2010. Meanwhile Undertaker is just Undertaker; floating from feud to feud with no motivation, riding on the back of the World Heavyweight Championship. This match is just stale filler for both men tonight and it shows. The audience, likely confused by the gimmick, never really gets involved aside from the usual taunts and finishers, creating a very dull atmosphere for everything else. The false win for Batista, which was no different from many a genuine title change in the past (including Drew McIntyre's all of two matches ago), is lame as ever. It's made worse when the match restarts, lasts 30 seconds and Undertaker wins instead. Couldn't they have wrestled another five minutes? The crowd popped for the finish just moments before, this just confuses them and wastes their energy. A poor effort on all fronts. Ill conceived, badly paced and with a stupid finish. The highlight is Batista mumbling like a drunk hobo on his way to the back...
Rating: 2 Stars
Randy Orton Vs Kofi Kingston
I really love the work done to Kofi Kingston's character leading into this one. They let him show some guts, and it's amazing how far that'll get a guy over. He also has a lot of chemistry with Randy Orton as well as a strong work rate which is something he's not given enough credit for. Sadly the story told in this match just isn't very interesting. In a way this is too late after Kofi made his mark on the MSG episode of Raw we see in the pre-match promo. Had it been made officially the 1# contenders match or something there might have been more tension, but really it was just a drawn out beat down on Kofi with the occasional athletic come-back. I wasn't crazy about the ending either. First Kofi counters the RKOP which is cool in theory but really unclear in practice. I don't think anyone really saw him put the arm up, so they either thought he'd been kicked in the head or that Randy botched it somehow. After that there's a nice tease for a Kingston upset that's turned into an RKO, winning it for Orton after a whole match of working the ribs. I think Orton should have countered Kofi's counter and punted him in the chest instead. That would have fit the story and been a fresh twist on the move. Regardless this was a decent match that was entertaining but not the star-making classic it needed to be to get Kofi over long term. Had this feud continued they might have managed that, but this would mark the end of the Kofi Kingston experiment for now.
Rating: 3 Stars
Unified Tag Team Championship - TLC
D-Generation X Vs JeriShow
Our final contest is another climax to a feud that never really existed. Ever since JeriShow began their year of dominance in the division, a collision with D-Generation X seemed inevitable. Not since 2006 were there two tag teams at once who were worthy of being in the main-event. JeriShow worked hard not only to get to that level from scratch, but also to bring prestige back to their titles much as Jericho had done earlier in the year with the Intercontinental Championship. Coupled with the fact that DX had never actually been tag team champions and this was being anticipated months prior. The problem? Well they didn't really lay any foundations to build on, and after this match JeriShow was finished. A contest with this kind of star power could have been a great under-card addition to WrestleMania, and had it been built from months rather than weeks the whole thing might have been even bigger.
As you might expect all four men have great chemistry and the tornado tag format means the action is pretty much non-stop from bell to bell. Jericho and Michaels are no strangers, yet little was made of this either beforehand nor during the match itself. They do work most of the actual wrestling, a very good decision that leaves Triple H and Show to do the power spots and brawling on the outside. However the teams don't just split up for twenty minutes, they manage to weave around nicely while keeping the focus on the goal. There were lots of memorable visuals, from Jericho and Michaels having a chair duel on the stage to Big Show tearing a ladder apart with his hands and of course the final image, HBK grabbing the belts while held up on half a ladder by Hunter. It's a shame Jericho's final spot botched completely, falling from Show's shoulders not through a table but into it's hard corner. He lands twisted up, but like a pro he just hangs there until the attention has moved on. It's on par with the opener in many respects, not as well performed but with more star power and purpose behind the action. It's not as good as it could be, but worthy of the main-event and a classic moment for DX on their final PPV outing.
Rating: 4 Stars
WWE Tables, Ladders & Chairs 2009 Final Score: 3 Stars
Another average show for the books. A rare off night for the SmackDown brand, a final glimpse of potential from ECW and more of the usual from Raw. The opener and the main-event were both great but only serve to hold together a sagging middle marred by poor booking. Two new rookie champions is exciting, but also sudden and meaningless. There's clear intent to push some fresh faces, but without proper character development or motivation the results are hollow. You can't argue with the shows historic value however; this was the end for DX, JeriShow and nearly ECW on PPV, but only the beginning for Sheamus and the TLC show format itself.
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