WWE Elimination Chamber 2012 Review

WWE Championship – Elimination Chamber
CM Punk Vs The Miz Vs Chris Jericho Vs Kofi Kingston Vs Dolph Ziggler Vs R-Truth

Well this was an unexpected choice to start the show. I thought for sure this match would be the main-event due to it's greater star power and perceived importance over the other chamber. However due to the booking it's easy to see why it was placed here, and ultimately it was wise not to end the show on this note. The match was well performed as expected, but whether it was going on first or putting all the drama into the Punk Vs Jericho story, it failed to engage the Milwaukee audience besides some decent spots. Kofi predictably stands out by both holding his own against the champion to start and taking part in the obligatory spots off the chain and off the pod, but unlike the Royal Rumble he fails to top the work done by John Morrison in the past. Ziggler and Truth are both their usual selves, but fail to achieve anything memorable and are both eliminated with ease. Miz brings some nice aggression into the mix, but never convinces me that he could really be leaving this one as the winner.

That leaves just two men, CM Punk and Chris Jericho. Their brief interactions are fantastic to start with, including a violent encounter with a pod door. Jericho works in a Liontamer to eliminate Kofi, which is always a pleasure to see. I enjoyed his continued attack and personal escort of Kofi out of the chamber, but it's here where the match falls apart. Punk kicks Jericho out of the chamber where he is somehow knocked out by his soft landing. They make a big deal over it being legit but it's obviously not, instead just using up some time while everyone gets a breather. Jericho is deemed eliminated and this completely takes the wind out of the finale. Punk and Miz put on a decent sequence that Punk wins with little genuine drama to officially retain, but the expected Jericho return doesn't materialise. This was a disappointingly bland match, with few lasting consequences besides this Jericho injury angle. It felt as if it was happening just to get it out of the way and now we can get on with Punk Vs Jericho for 'Mania. A textbook example of why the Elimination Chamber should occur at a different time of the year.

Rating: 3 Stars

World Heavyweight Championship – Elimination Chamber
Daniel Bryan Vs Santino Marella Vs Wade Barrett Vs Cody Rhodes Vs Big Show Vs The Great Khali

Yet another surprise now as the SmackDown chamber doesn't main-event the show either. On paper this has to be one of the weakest chamber matches in history, including two last minute substitutions by Khali and Santino. Thankfully they take advantage of this unique mix of performers and manage to put on a more entertaining match than you'd expect. The worst element of this is the inclusion of Khali, who barely does anything before being eliminated by a Big Show spear - not even his WMD punch, just a spear. I assumed Khali was there to tap to Daniel Bryan, putting the La Belle Lock over strong as he did the Hell's Gate for The Undertaker in 2008. It feels like a wasted opportunity to bring attention to someone who may matter one day, such as Drew McIntyre, without any benefit to anyone at all. Cody Rhodes and Wade Barrett hold their own but it was obvious neither has a chance of success, their presence more as allies against Big Show than anything else.

And it's Big Show who's the focus early on, taking on Rhodes and Barrett before working a fantastic spot as he tears off the roof of Bryan's pod to attack him before he enters, and then once out he throws the champion back through the door. I love the story between Show and Bryan, and I'd actually like to see Show involved in the title match at WrestleMania in some way, but I doubt it will happen now. After he is shockingly eliminated by Rhodes, the story becomes Santino who pins Rhodes by surprise and endures a violent assault by Barrett. Barrett and Bryan have a lot of history and work well together despite the heel Vs heel dynamic. Bryan suffers a brutal and unnecessary spot where Barrett slams a pod door across his neck and it made me even more uneasy watching Bryan hit Chris Benoit's Flying Headbut moments later. Barrett is finally eliminated leaving just the champion and Santino, who holds his own and even looks strong in the La Belle Lock before finally tapping out.

Post-match, Sheamus arrives and makes clear his intent to challenge Bryan at WrestleMania. I'm glad they aren't bothering to faff about over who Sheamus will challenge when we all know he has no place in the WWE Championship story brewing on Raw. Like the first match this was more about getting the chamber out of the way than doing anything important with it, although this one both built it's stars better and featured numerous memorable spots. I can't believe this turned out to be the better of the two.

Rating: 4 Stars

United States Championship
Jack Swagger Vs Justin Gabriel

This is the kind of match I want to see on PPV, in theory. In theory this would be announced weeks before on TV rather than moments before during another hilarious “Natalya Farts” segment. In theory this would get ten or more minutes rather than three. In theory the crowd would know who Justin Gabriel is and support him rather than take a bathroom break or sit on their hands. In theory the announcers would talk about how both men are talented and credible competition rather than about their own awful exploits a year ago. In theory this should be great, but instead it's a humongous waste of everyone's time. At least Swagger looks strong for once. Can't say the same for the United States Championship.

Rating: 1.5 Stars

Ambulance
John Cena Vs Kane

Why is this match on last? I get that it has John Cena in it, but the show is called Elimination Chamber, it has two of the things on the card and both are for WORLD championships. Surely at least one would be deemed more important than this? After last month's chore of a match I was hoping tonight's encounter would be far better. I said originally that these two needed a stipulation, but I should have clarified – they needed a GOOD stipulation! The Ambulance Match has all the contrivances of the Casket Match and the Stretcher Match combined. Not to mention Kane looks silly having anything to do with one, especially driving it. Of course, Kane looks silly doing anything now thanks to his new persona - Forehead Fajita Man. If a costume that looks worse than a Create-A-Wrestler wasn't bad enough he's also continuing to try to get “Smell The Glove” over as a legitimate finisher.

Bundle all of this together with one of the most melodramatic soap opera storylines in years and you have a main-event that is everything the public believes pro-wrestling is about. It's big, silly, noisy, sloppy, cheesy, immature and worst of all BORING because we know that Cena will be fine for his WrestleMania match that has been hyped up all night! This feud isn't important and we all know it! I'll give Cena credit, his charm shines through as he ups the aggression during the ringside brawl and the slugfest on the roof of the ambulance was a good visual. For these reasons this match was better than last time, but the added contrivances of the stipulation, as well as the obviousness big final spot, pull it right back down. This better be over.

Rating: 2 Stars

WWE Elimination Chamber 2012 Final Score: 2 Stars

Well, what can I say? It's the worst show of the year by a fair margin. Everything that's wrong with the WWE today was on full display tonight and it worries me as we are just about to get to WrestleMania. The WWE Championship match was poorly booked with little concern for the performers beyond Punk and Jericho. The World Heavyweight Championship match was the best of the night, but not a patch on the best chamber matches in history. Both suffered for how obvious it was that the feuds for WrestleMania were already decided and this entire show was just a formality. This extended to the main-event which was as plain and predictable as could be with no drama whatsoever. Throw in a last second match between performers who never feature on TV (yet who will be blamed when the audience doesn't respond to them), and you have all you need for a bad show. I think WrestleMania will be good this year, but only because a lot of the card is made from irregular performers or special guests. The WWE's attitude for their full time upper mid-card and below is neglectful to the point of abuse. As the company is forced to deal with a fading amount of star power, it shocks me how they still don't learn their lesson after causing this situation with similar booking over the past several years. I'm not worried about WrestleMania, just all the shows that happen after it.