JBL Vs Finlay
A really strange choice to start with tonight, as we get the older, slower tough men on first to warm up the crowd for the younger, faster high-flyers. I think both guys kicked things up a notch for the big stage, but there's only so much they can do given the weight of the awful soap opera build they have to work with. The match delivers what you'd expect; a short, stiff brawl with no blood and plenty of cheap midget heat. There's an album in that somewhere... Yeah, “Short & Stiff” by Cheap Midget Heat. That sounds awesome. Anyway, I'm not sure if I'm surprised by JBL's win, it's unusual to have such a long story end with the good guys loosing, but then again it's obviously not Finlay moving up the card any time soon. I certainly wouldn't have started the show this way, but at least it wasn't offensive. Except maybe a little if you're Irish. Or little and Irish.
Rating: 3 Stars
Money in the Bank – Ladder
CM Punk Vs Shelton Benjamin Vs MVP Vs Chris Jericho Vs John Morrison Vs Carlito Vs Mr. Kennedy
The tradition continues for the fourth year in a row and this time they've really got the formula down. This might not be the best Money in the Bank ever, but it does exactly what it should in every way. The talents involved are all big names but none are former champions [besides Jericho], they work in a selection of unique stunts and spots, build up some genuine false finishes and the winner is an unexpected but deserving name who most needs the rub. The only thing that holds this instalment back is the poor pacing and dull section in the middle where people just go back and forth knocking each other off the ladder without variation. Once Benjamin provides his own rendition of Jeff Hardy's ladder breaking fall from last year things pick up, including a Walls of Jericho on a ladder followed by a Backstabber from the top of it. This leads to the satisfying run in from MVP's long-time rival Matt Hardy, who I had expected to be back and fighting for the US title tonight instead. Punk's final battle with Jericho is well done and a fun bit of unintentional foreshadowing for a future WrestleMania main-event. Had things been a little tighter this would be one of the best of it's kind, but as it stands it's still an entertaining addition to the card.
Rating: 4 Stars
Batista Vs Umaga
Or, as Regal and Cole would call it; UMANGA Vs BOOTISTA. I actually wish more had been made of a relationship between William Regal and Umaga. The way he calls him UMANGA never fails to delight me and I'm so glad it is immortalised here during his entrance. Once again the Samoan Bulldozer is placed in the high-profile exhibition match he's bound to loose, this time against an even bigger star than last in Batista. There clearly wasn't a plan for Batista this year, which is a shame as he could have had a huge match against anyone spared from the WWE Championship triple-threat if they wanted a cross-promotional contest. I love Umaga, but there was simply no intrigue or urgency to this whatsoever. The action is okay to start with until Umaga breaks out his boring nerve hold, a move I hate to see at the best of times but especially at WrestleMania and especially when a guy like Batista has to try and sell it. This feels like it goes on and off for half the match, only broken up by the occasional signature move from either guy. Finally, and with no drama at all, Batista hits a badly botched Batista Bomb and it's over. I expected so much more than this it's unreal. A major disappointment.
Rating: 2 Stars
ECW Championship
Kane Vs Chavo Guerrero
Wow. A complete burial of Chavo Guerrero, the ECW Championship, anyone who recently lost to Chavo *COUGHUGCM PunkCOUGHURAGH!*, and ultimately the ECW brand itself. What else can I say, it's 8 seconds long. It barely qualifies as a match and somehow it's still a waste of time.
Rating: 0.5 Stars
Career Threatening
Shawn Michaels Vs Ric Flair
“I'm sorry. I love you.” - Shawn Michaels
This is one of those matches where you have to forget the wrestling to a point and focus on the intangibles. This was never going to be a 5 Star classic in the ring, we knew that. If Flair was capable of such he wouldn't be retiring in the first place. This was, however, as much as he could do. Is that not what makes this industry so amazing? That these men, these legends, go out onto that stage and put everything they have into that ring? If you want to see amazing spots, athletic movements and compelling physical storytelling, go put on something from Flair's work in the late 80's. This match doesn't have that, but it's also not about that. This is about the emotional journey of an old man at the end of his professional life, which for a man like Flair may as well be his life. True to his legacy, Flair attempts to defy time itself, to slap the face of his successor and prove that he is still The Man. He knows he's not, for the most part. However, if he can convince himself and all of us for just one moment that he is - then that's all that matters.
To do this Flair needs a man like Shawn Michaels. Mr. WrestleMania has made a career of his greatest attribute; he's a suicidal salesman. When the lights are on bright no one else can make a washed out old man look like a star, taking the big bumps because his opponent can't and working through what must be considerable pain without reservation. In this way, Michaels has thrived through his vulnerability. He is a man who despite all his skills can be believably defeated by just about anyone. All they need is one good night.
And there you have the blueprint for a classic event in professional wrestling, the last match of Ric Flair's career. The sincere emotion that overflows from both men makes for honest drama the likes of which you will rarely see anywhere else. The final moments of the match where Flair stands to his feet with tears in his eyes and begs Shawn to keep fighting, and Shawn's immortal line before the end – these are all the things wrestling is about beyond the mat. It's not about shedding blood, it's about shedding tears. It's about the men who dedicate their lives to their craft, the men who carry a torch and the men who must eventually pass it on. This match is not perfect, it's uneven in about every respect and at the same time it transcends all of that and becomes something rare and special. Whatever it may be lacking, you couldn't ask for more.
Rating: 5 Stars
WWE Championship
Randy Orton Vs Triple H Vs John Cena
Triple-threat matches make for interesting main-events. At their best they can be the model of dramatic uncertainty but at their worst they can be downright messy. It's hard, even for experienced performers, to get the right pace going in these situations and rare to see much imagination or memorable sequences. Going into this match I had my doubts, but was mostly won over by the always excellent video packages that really sold how all three characters belonged in this together. That's the most important part of a triple-threat, to make every pair unique and worthwhile, and this match certainly does that.
Unfortunately they haven't got enough time and all three men are too similar in their natural slow pace to make this one work. As much as I've praised Randy Orton, it does seem to be his presence that drags it down. Whenever Triple H and Cena are working alone the match is elevated and begins to create a big fight atmosphere, but these moments never last. There's too much dead space and not enough instances of all three men working at once, making this choppy and a bit sterile until the well-booked finish.
I like Orton retaining as it's both unexpected and great for his career. His punt kick to The Game is a believable finisher that can come from nowhere, although I think Orton should have pinned him and not Cena, which would put that move over rather than winning off the effects of a Pedigree. Beside the ending this was an extremely average triple-threat, and the crowd seemed to agree throughout. Looking back, I think we'd have been better off with any pair from this going one-on-one while the other could have had a big match against Batista. I'm glad this wasn't the end of the show at least.
Rating: 3.5 Stars
No Disqualification
Floyd Mayweather Vs Big Show
Now we get to the mainstream attraction on the card and the build up for this was very well done. These two men are so different that the mere image of them facing off is already a great visual, but they also worked in numerous effective promos that created a genuine sports atmosphere on the night. The biggest problem with the presentation was a strange dissonance between the way the WWE perceived this and how it actually was. From the point of view of the video package and announcers, this was a fight between a scrappy underdog and a monstrous bully, in the same vein as many previous Big Show feuds. However to the audience [and I think the performers themselves], this was an arrogant little punk looking to embarrass a veteran of another sport on his home turf. Taken as that performance this was pretty good, with Mayweather walking in under a shower of money, ducking Show at every turn, trying to leave, being aided by his posse and finally using an onslaught of weapons to get the win. It wasn't amazing, but entertaining enough and lived up to it's place on the card.
Rating: 3.5 Stars
World Heavyweight Championship
The Undertaker Vs Edge
It's strange. Sometimes you can look forward to something for so long that by the time it actually happens you're a little bored of it. It doesn't need to be disappointing, being as good as you expected can be all that's necessary for it to just float by without excitement. The Undertaker Vs Edge is a very good match, just as I imagined it would be when I first considered it back in 2006. For me it was a pairing that sold itself on the grandest stage – The Streak Vs The Streak. They might have made things messier with Edge's “non-win” at WrestleMania 23, but a technicality like that only fits his character all the more. When Edge jumped to SmackDown and earned the moniker of “The Ultimate Opportunist” by taking out The Phenom, I felt for sure that things would continue to build up to a classic confrontation here. For once, I was right about the long term plans for the WWE and that made me feel very smug – right up until the match happened and suddenly it was all over. Their match was everything you'd assume and even a few things you wouldn't. It got plenty of time, featured a number of impressive counters and ended on a high note. Besides being a bit slow and clumsy towards the start, what is there to complain about? Well despite all it has going for it, all the reversals and near-falls - I never believed there was nearly a fall. There's an absence of drama here but I'm not sure where the blame lies. It's not on the performances or the atmosphere. It's not really the booking or the time allotted. Maybe it's just me. Perhaps this is just so on the nose of what I imagined years before that now, played out for real, it doesn't thrill me? I honestly don't know, but it's a strange feeling to end the night on.
Rating: 4 Stars
WWE WrestleMania XXIV 2008 Final Score: 3 Stars
WrestleMania XXIV is a show I remember more fondly than I should. The atmosphere outside in Orlando is superb and the card does feature an all-time classic, but there's too many disappointments and mediocre contests to make for a good event. It's an average show that is worth revisiting for Michaels Vs Flair, and maybe for Undertaker Vs Edge and Money in the Bank, but that's it. Had they focused the WWE Championship match into a one-on-one and found a better use for Batista I think things could have been very different, not to mention loosing the ECW squash that had no business happening at all. After such a great show last month this is definitely a down turn, but it was entertaining enough in the grand scheme.
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